Feel Free

Days have Passed

There is more work to be done.   This is the summer of there is more work to be done.   I typed that and then thought, there is always more work to be done.  If I were a deer or a fox, or even a coyote I would see this  as I climbed the hill after jumping over the stone wall at the back of the property.  And approached the garden.  Those two trees, a dogwood and a flowering cherry, I decided they need to go.   And also the sumac to the right of them.   Too much shade on the grapes growing on the fence there that is hardly visible.   This will clear the slope and give us a clear view to the deep forest beyond the stone wall.   And improve air flow, reducing insects and mildew in this place where it rains almost every day.   I began making paths last winter.   As the weather cools, we will continue in a more deliberate way to make ways through the woods.    Probably following the stone wall boundaries.   There is still wire fencing to be  attached to the wood frame but I am still planning and clearing and the spaces are handy for now.   The composting system is being moved outside the fence,  something more elaborate for this most important of all activities for now.   And a cold frame is needed.   We can build one of those.  with the leftover scrap wood and a piece of glass.    My Idaho brother, the botanist, has done a long successful study growing greens all winter long.   I will share details about that at another time.

Sanity. In Sympathy with Place. 

Because until now I have just not been listening.

When I make these recordings lately, I notice that I never really end up saying what I think of saying when I begin, but still I get the thoughts out eventually. Still it is hard to share some thoughts really, there is still some fear in me.  sanity still

I am healing. My pain has diminished.  My knees are stronger. I struggled with not knowing a solution.  Until I remembered Dad saying.  Just relax.  Start there.  Anxiety is your biggest enemy.  Want less and move more. Do the work of understanding your limitations.

An amazing Moon.  I saw a coyote move through this morning. Limping.  And I can feel the season changing.

35 comments

  1. Helen Lee

    What your Dad said…yes! I used acupressure for mine, and it has now become a daily, morning practice for over two years. Good to hear you are getting better. I love hearing your recordings.

  2. I remember those woven waves … how long it has been since we all considered weave with you …

    the season is also changing here in Texas, from early summer to high summer, with late summer yet to come … the heat finally arriving after an unusual amount of rain for July

    and sanity … those tiny, seam-revealing stitches … I need to get back to it

    • jude

      how long it has all been and days keep passing. “I need to get back to it ” runs through my mind a lot. But just going forward always seems easier.

  3. Christine

    Thank you for the thoughts spoken, “gathering the loose moments, the most confusing moments to frame them into a context of stability. I needed that thought today. I’ve been stitching sort of randomly on some small pieces while in a house with a newborn. Now I know why. I was stitching the chaos into something else. What those pieces will become is yet to be decided but I understand the need I had. My newest grandson is a love but the emotions he took me back into were amazingly complex.

  4. After 18 and a half years here; there is STILL More work to be done. I cannot imagine living in a place where there was “nothing to be done”….what then?!
    This weekend, we cleaned out the garden and added more fencing to make it taller (it’s now almost 8ft tall!)…not for deer, but our hens! argh! (They would flutter in and then dig everything up.)
    Rats in the hen house (& mint is NOT working) “bats in my belfry”… i need some sanity.

    So inspired by the white— I should dig out my white lady (remember her???) & work on that again.

    Continuation.

    a good word.

    Hi-Ho!

    (Glad you are feeling better—pain-anxiety-stress-fear, so hard to not “go there” sometimes,esp lately)
    Your dad was a wise man.
    <3

  5. Dakotah

    When we went to the mountains last month my knee suddenly caused me a lot of pain after not hurting a long while. Rocks hold a lot of energy and I could feel the mountain working on my knee in a big way. It was really odd. You have a lot of energy-holding rocks around you. Sometimes the way you describe your symptoms makes me think you are being adjusted too, like different parts coming into alignment. Like when suddenly after moving there you didn’t need your glasses.

    There used to be a cherry tree here. It was cut down after being struck by a storm. I need to plant one some time. Cherries are a personal favorite.

    Nice stitching 🧵

      • Caro

        Thank you for your recorded words! They really touched a nerve in me. I keep going to the beginning and listening again.
        Trying to keep sane is difficult at times and just one stitch at a time, sometimes even without a real plan has often been so helpfull for me.

  6. Jan Milne

    Hi, I have been following you for years from the other side of our world. It brings a familiar smile to my soul each time you mention the feeling of seasonal change because even from this great distance I also feel the same. I love being connected to the seasons and you. X Jan

  7. debgorr

    It took me a long time to realize that with the garden, and really anything including our sanity, there is always more work to be done. 🙂 Glad you are feeling better.

  8. Just back from a dawn walk to stretch the legs and free my mind then reading your Dad’s good words really helps! I love your Sense of Sanity! When I used to worry about being too mad, Rod said “If you can tie your shoelaces and make your breakfast you’re doing fine” (he worked as a psychiatric nurse in the 70’s) I have found that advice quite reassuring over the years!

  9. Jana

    To build through frustration and limitation rather than reading them as a stop sign … caught my attention. And stability of mind is a priceless blessing. Especially in these days.

    Beautiful piece. I love how the concentric circles sort of “stutter” their way around and finally fully embrace.

  10. janstevenson

    Pain is such an indicator of fear. . .thanks for the reminder. In these sympathetic evolution times sometimes we have to ask, is it my own fear, or someone else’s? So glad you are feeling stronger. I’m getting there myself.

  11. Your share of what your dad said made me think of a favorite saying I have adopted: “Just do the footwork, and turn over the results”. It was very hard for me to accept that, but it is my living mantra anymore. Right foot, left foot, do the next indicated thing. The anxiety passed…

  12. cednie

    i gazed at your piece while listening. It took awhile for me to see the face in the weaving. Relaxation is so important. We raise greens in the winter, but were defeated last winter by voles. Trying to come up with a solution to that. Cold frames in a different location maybe.

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