jude hill spirit cloth

big rain, small town

Big rain, but a just a little rain in the scheme of things, has brought big change to the growing things here. A little more later today they say.

There were 2 cabins in one day.  There was a lot of need for quiet time. They remain nameless. Just small cloths.

2 small cloths

There was an old friend who turned out not to be a friend at all.  Maybe I never really knew her at all.  I wonder how often that happens.  We often say forgive and forget, but what is said is said and then well, it cannot be unsaid.  It is always said.  And I wasn't born yesterday.

And there was tragedy.  This is a small town.   Not much here.  And maybe not even my kind of town as I look at most of my urban and suburban life.  But I have come to know people here,  simple working people with pick-up trucks and a trade.  Just people.  Mixed ethnically.  Not  of this group or that group. Nobody seems to care when it comes to getting through the day or getting things done.  Neighbors.  Human Beings.   Last night, a call from, let's call him tree guy,  a call to say , let's call him roof guy, a call to say roof guy was just killed in a motorcycle accident.  He collided with a vulture that was after roadkill and then with a parked car. I am not much one for funerals.  I will call, let's call her roof guy's wife, call her. She who lost her only son in a bike accident  a few years before we moved here.  She who never really seems to have recovered from that loss. Since I met her I have felt like I know her.  We've never talked much.

R.I.P Dave


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Categories: Log cabin blockTags: ,


  1. Cj

    A voice of comfort. Seems thoughtful and surely a sense of calm with your words in a long healing journey for her. So sorry for this tragic loss. Hope you find grace in your healing too Jude.

  2. Vi

    Two things…happening so near each other…that’s a lot.
    I am sorry about Dave..the everyday will miss him, I am sure.
    …and things said which can’t be unsaid….yeah..changes the nature of a thing in an instant sometimes.
    Your cabins have a magic to them. They speak. I really like what they seem to say..:):):)
    …and then there is a time when a quiet cup of something is the only answer.

  3. Margaret Sears

    In addition to the other losses and sadnesses,
    I feel sad for your former friend. She’s lost a wonderful woman from her world.

  4. Oh, so much! I don’t live in a small town, but our neighborhood was close knit. Deaths hit hard.
    And I agree that dishonesty is a line that, when crossed, cannot usually be repaired. Even though you can forgive, even be friendly again, the trust of true friendship rarely returns.

      • Jenny

        I’ve always found that solitary stitching allows for a lot of thought. I read your sad stories and was struck by the possibility of one door closing and another opening. I’m so sorry for your friendship revelation. It hurts. And as for Dave’s wife’s pain, I dread to think. I hope you both find comfort and I’m sorry my words are so meagre.

  5. Marilee

    The cabins had their own voice, subdued but strong. And your words followed suit. I’m a believer in friends, but only when they are. So sorry for your community’s loss, and more so for the wife and mother. I’ve never been a quilter, but I feel like making a cabin today, for some reason.

  6. Glennis

    The friend…”maybe I never really knew her”. I feel you on this. It has passed my way as well. I look at myself.
    A call is good. Just being there.

  7. Jen

    So much loss….
    Experiencing that myself; a death of a parent, and loss of some siblings.
    And somehow, life goes on.
    It frickin’ POURED a DELUGE today…. everything is green and growing again.

    Goes on.

    ( That poor woman😰)

  8. jess

    It never gets easier to lose a friendship. I am far more forgiving than my sister, we just had that talk last week. I hope some peace settles with you about that.
    Your log cabings are luring me into my fiber closet; I have been saving up strips just for those!
    And I agree that Dave’s wife could use the comfort of a new friend.

    • jude

      Yeah, I’m pretty easy. Not this time, there are lines.
      The cabins say rebuilding to me, very handy at tha moment.
      Dave’s wife is much younger but it seems ok.

      • Deb VZ

        I am always surprised when younger members of my clay group seek out my company – I can’t imagine why they do but it always feel like a bit of a gift especially when its genuine friendship (v.s. pity for the old gal in the room). But I remember always enjoying the company of older women, especially those who expressed an interest in what I was doing, listened patiently and didn’t offer advice. There is comfort in keeping company with someone who has seen more years, has known hardship and joy, and doesn’t have an agenda.

  9. Joan Rhue-Smith

    Wow, Jude, big stuff.
    The friend is a hurt for sure but the roofer’s wife – how does one bear these things ? My heart hurts.

  10. Judith

    Peace and hugs to you and Dave’s wife. The loss of a child is unimaginable; it never goes away and the loss of a husband changes you forever. I hope the friendship can be repaired if you want.

    • jude

      The loss of her child left her broken, yes. Yet in many ways I see her as strong. We will see I guess.
      I don’t want.

  11. Jude~ I will think of his wife in her deep sorrow, your Town – missing a member of the community of good working folks.
    And I will think of you in this loss of a friend, a kind of hurt that runs deep. I can be filled with empathy for this one, as I’ve lived through it myself, many times. Something you don’t forget.
    But, the cloth making soothes and the phone call helps all. I have found I heal better when I step outside of me and do for others. Do for others.

    • jude

      In some ways it has helped us realize we were never friends, so it is ok. I have called and we will have coffee next week. Thank you grace.

  12. Amy

    I have found that some of the moments I’ve felt of deepest connection, appreciation and comfort are experienced with people I barely know at all. Maybe that’s because of no expectations, and neither of us know each other well enough to have any ideas about who the other is. It feels like being touched by grace. I hold you and roof guy’s wife in my heart.

  13. Jan Stevenson

    in the face of other people’s tragedies I never understand the severing of a friendship, but as you say, perhaps we never really know someone else. friendship is on the line in these times. forgiveness doesn’t seem the point to me. rather it should be something more like understanding. reaching mutual understanding. I have taken apart many cloths (literally) looking for that. I love your small cabins, continuing with it all.

  14. I’m so sorry for this woman who lost her son and now her husband as well. That’s too much for someone. So much suffering for one person.

    I had a friend for over 30 years, or at least I thought I had a friend.
    I know how painful it is, to realise that “Maybe I never really knew her at all.”

    • jude

      too much for one person, she was already so fragile. transparent.

      friendship doesn’t happen easily for me. To be disrespected hurts.

  15. sharon

    how mending cloth helps to mend our selves. how the physical action of stitching goes deep, as does the naming of things. and the renaming of things. the importance of giving in the face of loss. all seeds of a future harvest for our many selves, which includes others.

  16. Corinne

    The pain of loss expands our hearts in ways we didn’t understand before the tragedy. We identify, and have deep empathy with others pain. We flounder, after the betrayals of former friends. We are changed forever when the threads of togetherness are frayed, or cut too short, between friends and, sometimes, family.

    I am sorry for your Loss. I send you and your neighbors Courage, which translates to me as, go forward with a “full heart”. As Sandy said, stitching can help mend the Soul. It helps to tend a garden and Soul-O too.

  17. Jo Valentine

    I have been pondering this lately. How a few words spoken in haste can slice through the cloth of friendship. And even when I understand their context, make excuses, reach to forgive, somehow the threads are broken, the trust is gone. I can never forget they are capable of bringing that blade into our shared cloth….It is sad.

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