Feel Free

A bit More Heart

a softening caused by what moves through while still standing.

This heart, from way back, I found it because I was looking through the old advanced cloth weaving class which was never released beyond being the original workshop. There were reasons.  But I like how this technique begins to cross over into painting here.  And looking back, I did not see that then. Not how I see it now.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.

Not a big day for me.  Us.  As a holiday.

And as I was browsing through what is here on this site, to get a feel for how to continue, I came across what I wrote about the Free Class Whispering Hearts.

Considering Heart because I was never comfortable with it

How much I learn from moving outside my (sometimes selfish) focus.  Is focus a form of selfishness? I am asking myself that today.  And then, Self-ish.  Can I redefine that? To make it more useful.  More Shameless.  But without the typical discussion that follows.  I get tired of the sides that everything splits into.  The stored up thoughts that come from somewhere else.  New paths, we need new paths. where thought is new. Fresh. Is that possible?

I was invited to do a Zoom Chat this week. With other Textile Folks. It brought up a lot of shit that plagues me these days.  The stuff about social media and being published and fame and fortune, my shy self.   Path.  Food for another talking day.  To make a long story short, I declined for now.  I am swimming in a sea of confusion that has a lot to do with but not necessarily caused by older age.

I hope you are all doing well.  It is still below freezing here, since the last snow.  But there is a powerful moon and a big shift on the horizon.  There is a healthy sized group of folks gathering at the Forever Zone and I look forward to considering Forever along with you. How to build that place. Together.

in loving memory...

I post this here, a February past, in memory of Herm, for those of you that remember her.  A student who fell ill while we were all  gathered for some cloth weaving... this piece eventually became Herm's Heart which I was able to send  to her before her passing.  And she called me.  And I remember her voice so clearly.

 

42 comments

  1. Yes. It’s like we circle back to things, but never end up in the same place, because of experiences, choices….more like a spiral moving up a rotation, in understanding rather than coming back to the same spot on the circle.

  2. The hearts for Herm… and remembering the beautiful jacket that she made. Rethinking selfish is a good thought- maybe selfness? Selfsense? A sense of self, needs/wants/limits… After declining a podcast recently, the relief that came was reassuring, a feeling that I was taking care rather than holding myself back.

  3. Pat Cooper

    I have been trying to sort out what might “have a lot to do with but not necessarily caused by older age.” Stitching makes my head happy so I am staying with that, but this transition period does feel odd sometimes.

  4. Sue Facherty

    A few days ago my grandson gave me a card he’d secretly made for me at school. He’d drawn hundreds of tiny hearts and written ”thank you for being kind”. He finds life, school, everything overwhelming and often wears dark glasses and ear defenders to lessen the sensory impact.
    So, at the moment, to me, hearts are everything.
    I am very happy to join you, with my ridiculous sense of direction, in life and I.T., and my slow, slow pace.

  5. Judy

    I guess it could be considered selfish but finally I kinda know what I can and cannot do, or what I’m willing and not willing to do. I tried to do it all or it felt that way, tried to please everyone and now in at 75 I’m doing what makes me happy…well…hmmm, maybe not happy, maybe as content as is possible in these disturbing times. But I do love stitching along with Spirit Cloth. Thanks Jude. So many lovely people contribute to this thread, the thread…

  6. I love that so many kinds of community can exist. Good to see those hearts again and think of Herm. Selfish is a very interesting word to consider. I really think so much has become too big.

    • jude

      yes, so many kinds. knowing also that one is more than enough sometimes. So So Big, mindboggling. Just the scope of big these days.
      I come away diluted most days. Wondering what the effects actually are.
      Herm, and then thinking of Michelle these days…how her words are thread through my online presence.

  7. I’m glad you declined that zoom chat. I’m feeling stretched too thin myself, as I’ve ventured into territories that are outside my comfort zone. I’m confused and not integrated (dis-integrated!). The last few days I’m moving back to stitching squares, which has come to mean home for me.

    • jude

      I think a lot about comfort zones, about how they are considered something limiting, but then, I question that and wonder more. I get the home thing. I am home when I can stretch but not stretch myself too thin.

  8. I’ve always wished I could have been present from the very beginning of Spirit Cloth … the gathering to come seems it will hold much the same feeling of those early days and I am so glad to be present this time around

    • jude

      it was really, simply , a different time. That had a lot to do with it. A beginning of the considering of process, there is so much of it out there now. A beginning of a phase of internet and creativity. I feel so honored to have been there at that time. There was such a hunger for connection. These days there is almost to much of it. Still, there is a way to stay intimate, if you find a way through it.

  9. Not much of a day for us either. Yesterday 80 something, today, rain and snow in the mountains, perhaps. Crazy.
    I was just thinking of Herm and that time as folks started gathering in the Zone. I was so new here back then and didn’t really know her. I wish I had had the confidence to send a heart. Herm’s Heart is a beauty. As for confusion, yep, it is hard to keep up with it all sometimes. But we do, don’t we?

  10. Jana

    These heart images sparked an idea for moving forward a few steps with my first 9-square that has been languishing on my work table. Gosh. I love sparking. I wish everyone I see a happy Valentine’s Day … may love prevail on Earth is what I’m holding in my heart with those wishes. This blog is incandescent with love.

  11. Helen Lee

    Oh I remember Herm, and how many of us sent hearts ❤ Thank you for reminding me.
    We don’t make a fuss on the love day either.
    I look forward to seeing you make ‘selfish’ more useful. I like that idea….and new paths where thought is new.

    • jude

      I was going back through old classes and all her comments were there, reminding me.
      Love is for everyday, right?
      there is an honesty in it…selfish.

  12. The cloth weaving and the whispering hearts is where I started my journey with spirit cloth, I would love to re visit both of these, hearts and weaving.
    This snowy heart is beautiful as I cope with losing two good friends.
    Soft heart

    • jude

      the revisiting can make it new, so much experience has been accumulated since then. I go back and notice how much my style of talking has changed.

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